and it made me reminisce on a dream I have, fairly often, when I see one passing overhead. I wish to take my money and a few clothes, and run. Run far away from the life that I was given, because it isn’t one I am happy with. Go to a new city, with a new name (or one that I rarely am called, Jace or Lei), meet new people, be read as male. Completely erase anyone from this life now from existence. Be who I am with people that only know me as what I show them…Only know me as I tell them to know me. Get “sir” more often than “mam”.. Then on the other hand it’s a life I know I’ll never be able to live. I don’t want the full transition, I just want to sit comfortably in between because that’s who I am. I won’t be able to toss this away though. I care about far too many people, particularly one, to be able to disconnect myself. So, I sit in a place of hidden misery with the life I was given and try to get through each day alive. All the while throwing this dream onto passing planes and they’re passengers.
Wednesday — October 24, 2012